Minivan Captain's Log

Today is a Wednesday. There's nothing particularly significant about this Wednesday, but on this crazy ride we call life, every day should be significant, shouldn't it? So, in the interest of preserving the history of Jenny Wadley, I present these facts for your amusement and pity.

Today I:

• Woke up in bed alone
• Heard my daughter cry
• Had a fight with my husband
• Debated the necessity of the potty with a three-year-old
• Made up with my husband
• Sang Code Monkey
• Went to the laundromat
• Stuffed $20 in quarters in my pockets
• Taught math via coin-operated washing machines
• Did eight loads of laundry
• Talked to a long-distance friend about visiting
• Fished a plastic heart out of the toilet
• Found some presumed missing mail under the seat of my car
• Cleaned up smeared chocolate with a baby wipe
• Cleaned a poopy bottom with six baby wipes
• Waited in line at the utility department
• Explained a water meter to my seven-year-old
• Used the last three quarters to buy bubblegum
• Spent two hours in Target
• Literally begged my children to behave
• Bribed my children
• Spoke sternly to my children
• Took my children to the potty
• Took my children back to the potty
• Allowed my children to try on a woman's zebra-print dress
• Adamantly refused to purchase zebra-print dress for my son because it wasn't in his size
• Held my ground
• Decided that my perfect job is evil henchman
• Contemplated buying a Starbucks coffee
• Reminded myself that I am no longer spending $5 on a cup of coffee
• Listened to repetitive vocal sounds over and over and over
• Asked my daughter to please get up off the floor and let the nice lady push her cart down the aisle
• Picked my daughter up off the floor while she screamed
• Bought myself the damn coffee
• Took my children back to the potty
• Didn't scream when a $5 cup of coffee was poured down my thigh
• Ignored stares of horror
• Smiled helplessly at looks of knowing pity
• Drive home while breathing deeply
• Received words of wisdom and wonderful news from a dear friend
• Played a game with my kids
• Heaved a big sigh
• Held an origami butterfly
• Told my husband I love him
• Found peace
• Lost peace
• Wept
• Smiled
• Felt loved
• Loved